sino ka ba para umasa?
sino ka ba para tuparin nya ang mga pangakong
walang laman na katotohanan?
sino ka ba?

Panandalian, pamatid uhaw, pangkalang sa kumakalam
na damdamin.
Ikaw, oo ikaw! Ikaw na buong puso at buong tapat na nagbigay pagpapahalaga

umaasa sa salitang binitiwan tulad ng tayo, kasama at wagas na paulit ulit mong sinasambit
hanggang maililok sa aking puso't isip.

Paano na?
Tapos ka na, Tapos ka na sa pangagnalingan ng pakiramdam na di ka nagiisa, na ikaw ay mahalaga.
Tapos ka na, at eto ako nagiisa.
naglilinis ng naglalawa na damdamin na di kayang saluhin ng pusong nagiisa.

Simula na.
Ito na marahil ang hudyat na dapat ako ay maglakbay na.
Papalayo sa trahedya ng gyera at guho ng pusong umaasa, umasa, aasa.
tama na.

How Dare You Make Me Fall For You

Sometimes, Sorry is the most painful word that you'd hear

When there's nothing more to say, when there's nothing more that can be done.
When everything comes crashing down.
When you are not in control, not the one in command.

How dare you make me fall for you.
Make me cross that horizon that darkness embraces, that I can't see what is beyond

Right when I was about to take that step that I dare not to take,
you push back and tell me that you didn't mean a word you said.

I know that I am broken.
But Honey I'll get over this.
Honey I know I'll bounce.
Honey, I'll bounce.  

Remembering What I Learned From Friends

When I was younger I often watch American TV shows. My favorite shows are Melrose Place - until mom prohibited me from watching it because of some well a lot of scenes, Beverly Hills 90210, Baywatch and of course who didn't watch, FRIENDS.

I was amazed how these group of people live in a place without their parents or relatives but just their friends. I figured out that they were around thirty-ish year old guys, I mean they have a job and can stand on their own, they seem to be stable so I guess 30 is a good figure.

And oh yeah, this made me want to live in New York before.

I romanticized with the possibility of me living alone without anyone just me and my house, my own rules with no oppositions. I can do whatever I can.

This I remember earlier this day. Thank God for letting me remember.


should have spent more time trying to be famous... LOL
see my TV appearance here
For the past few years I got the feeling of my life has gone no where because of a broken relationship that was the foundation of my plans. A wife, my kid, those white picket fences, that big red door and a swing hanging up on the tree in my yard. I was feeling I am too old to start a new, but FRIENDS reminded me that I am wrong. I am just starting my life.

I realized that I grew up and matured way too fast, got too serious too soon. Not that I am saying that it is bad nor that I regret it, but it was the reason why I missed a lot of things that I could have done with my hands clean.

Maybe I should have balanced my future plans and my right now plans. I falter on the latter, I just thought of tomorrow, when I was at my right now. The result, I didn't live a life on my right now moments and when my future plans crumbled, nothing was to lived for at all. Devastated, I had to start back at 1.

or maybe explored the world some more! maybe ill write another post about my should have beens :)

But then again, FRIENDS told me that life begins at 30 (at least that is what I percieve), when you should have the most freedom that you can get, the time that you have enough strength yet responsible enough with your adventures in life. It is a time that you can be who you want to be and are.

This is life as I want it to be, no need to rush.

Words For The Young (and I mean like you 20 plus year old kids)

I guess the best thing that I have learned is to balance your future plans and how you live your life at the moment. Be thrifty but do not deprive your selves. Reward your selves, do the things that you can do, do not delay. Then again, prepare for the rainy days. Invest -should have learned this earlier in life, don't just save.

Don't be afraid to play.

Today I start my life again. with a new mindset, a new view in life.

Life is how you want to see it.

This is me now.

Recognizing my Humanity

it's okay to feel sad, angry, cheated or whatever that it is you feel, I tell my self. They are emotions, they make you human , without emotions you are just an animal or maybe even just an insect.

Today I recognized my humanity. I stayed quite and think. I feel - sad, angry and alone.

In the end it will only be me who will stand for me in times of trouble just as how it always happens.

have i forgotten how to feel loved or have i ever felt it before, do I even know how it is. A different kind of love.

The Past And The Future

Today, I stand in the middle of the past and future. The year that was and the year that will be.

Looking back I thank the Lord of the massive ways that he has shown how he moves in my life. How he tells that I am here, do not be afraid. He has manifested his presence in so many ways this year things that changes at the nick of time, that only he can do.

I thanks God for letting me travel with family and friends. The experience is truly priceless, from Dad's first trip abroad, an island getaway with friends and secluded beach escape with office mates.

I thank God for giving the chance to work again and validate that I can still do it.

I thank God for my Family.

This year may not be perfect just like any year that would come but we must make sure that we make the most out of it.

2015 is going to be my year for valuing my self and preparing for long term goals.

I aim to shoot more weddings and practice my photography more than ever.
I am to buy a good computer for editing, a backup camera and other things that I need to shoot better.
I aim to save money for my US Trip.
I am to lose weight and become fit.(wag magreact for health reasons ito... ang hirap na kaya huminga)

Lastly, Travel.

Travel may be the last priority for me this 2015 as it will be my prep year for an epic travel across the continental North and Central America.

How about you? What are your plans?

Days Of Christian Prosecution: A Call For Prayer and Action, Specially For Catholics

Today the Christian church faces prosecution, again. When Christianity started growing in its early years they were heavily prosecuted by the Roman Emperors until the time of Constantine, the first Christian emperor of Rome ordered that Christians should be tolerated.

In these early days after the Apostles of Christ on Pentecost received the Gift of Tongues (where they were able to speak in different languages), went out and spread the good news of Christs establishing churches (a group of believers) most of which still exist today. These churches that the other Apostles founded (ex. Paul, Andrew, Peter, John) went as far east and north from Jerusalem in places such as Africa, Lebanon and yes Iraq and Syria, where the ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) are prosecuting Christians right now.

Special Call For Catholics 

Why am I calling specially to Catholics. Christianity in Syria and Iraq dates back to the days of the Apostles and these churches that continues to exist such as the Chaldean Catholic Church (planted by the Apostle St. Thomas) in Iraq and the Syriac Catholic Church (planted by St. Peter the Apostle). These churches may celebrate the Mass in different ways (Maronite, Eastern Catholic Rite or Liturgy of St. James the Apostle) but they are our brothers that are in communion with the Bishop of Rome, The Pope.

I call that we pray for them who do not forsake their Christian faith even on the shadows of death. I ask our Christian brothers to pray for your fellow Christians that are prosecuted in these countries.

Let Us Pray

Lord God, in the mighty Name of your only begotten Son, Jesus, we pray for our brothers and sisters in the prosecuted land of Syria and Iraq. Protect them from the dangers and prosecution from professing their faith in You.


Weight Loss Struggle: How I Learned The Difference of KCal and Cal The Hardway

It has been proven that every time I get my self to work in a corporate..... well... call center setting that I gain weight, that is a fact. Of all the times that I have gain weight this is the worst weight problem that I have encountered.

When I started working for my current company I weighed about 180 pounds with clothes on. Today, I last weighed my self at about less than 200 pounds.

I am really alarmed with my weight and I am really worried. Each time I fly I feel this difficulty of breathing when I slouch, I can't sleep with my seat reclining on a plane. It feels like my stomach is pressing hard on my lungs and heart causing the shortness of breath, even if I have stopped smoking casually for months now. I have difficulty tying my shoes or reaching for the edge of my pants to fold it the way I want to.

It is scaring me.

I don't want to die fat.

I tried and still trying to go on a specific diet and because I have a hyper-acidic stomach, I cant make my self starve or go on a lemon juice like diet. As per my doctors advice I can now only drink either Milk or Water. I actually have dramatically dropped drinking sodas, like as in rare. I do not crave for it when I eat.

Instead of Tea Drinks that are high on sugar I cut down my rice intake and alter my lunch food with sandwiches instead of full meals. Since that I cant take anything but milk, I keep my self hydrated in the office with at least two packs of Oishi Oaties.

This milk product is called Oaties because it has finely ground oats mixed with the milk. Then one time out of now where I decided to look at the label and read the nutritional facts. My jaw dropped I was chugging down two packs of 200Kcal a day that is a total of 400,000 calories a day!!! Mind you the recommended daily allowance each day is just 2,000 calories. I stopped by that time I have gained at least fifteen pounds.

Now I continue my battle, I am even thinking of consulting a doctor because maybe there is something wrong with me that no matter how I go on a diet or exercise for that matter I would still gain weight. Well I hope nothing serious.

I am going back to they gym to run at least 45 minutes a day. I will try to work more on my diet... though I don't know what to eat anymore. Seriously, I am scared now at this point.

I hope that I could lose weight soon. Not just for my looks but most importantly for my own functionality and health.