When frustration comes into your system, It eats you.

For the past how many days, An emotion had been eating my system. I dont know if that is what you call Frustration. I feel like I want to go home at the middle of the shift. I feel like I wanna run bare footed on the sands of a beach I have never been to. I want to find my self and where am I lacking of when it comes to doing my job correctly.

I dont want to blame other people for feeling this way. This is my body, my mind and my spirit. I am the one who commands my soul. But It seems like it wonders around and would not stay with me, questing for some higher ground.

Stop. I know that I cant search for some place as of this time. It does not exist, It should not exist! I need to be where I am today. This is part of the struggle, this is part of the sacrifices that I have to make.

I believe in happy endings, but I only becomes worst before you can feel that it actually had become better.

I need to gather my toughts that makes me happy. My family, my loved one, my friends and the trip that I had a year ago that keeps me motivated. Funny how it seems that, that same trip that keeps me motivated keeps me frustrated about the things that I see.

I will strive to be better, I will get out of this puddle of mud. You can only say that I am better now when I see my self out of this puddle. But I can only say that I am out of it only when I realize and accept that I am in it right now.

New Worksite, New Schoolsite

My Co-worker, Dyo approached me the other day and told me he was actually reading my blog from time to time.... Thanks so much Dyo Baculi!!!!

Tomorrow, I'll be taking another exam, a long one for my Med-Surg subject. The hard part about my subjects this semester is that it requires a lot of reading. I need to learn the different diseases, the medications and the interventions that I need to do.

Though its kind of tough, it is actually fun. I learn a lot every day and it really feels good.

What a coincidence that both my worksite and school would be transferring to a new location. My worksite would be transferring to the Meralco compound in pasig because the campaign that I am in is getting bigger.

As for my school, we will be transferring to a bigger site as well. Its going to be in the summit building along shaw boulevard. I heard that we needed to transfer site because TESDA required the school a certain floor area to be recognized as a school. Hope that studying would just get better since its going to be more conducive to learning.

I continue to struggle juggling work and study, though at times it takes a lot of sacrifice and at times frustrates me a lot to actually not get into the top of the class, I continue to hold on. This is what I wanted, to shift the paradaigm that I am into. To shift fromt he puddle of stress that I am into and get into, maybe not heaven but a clearer puddle of water.

I hope that I will survive this test. I only have two more semester to finish the course and then go to a review school to finish everything. I will stand still and will make it through the rain.

Turn Around

It has been quite some time since I last posted something here and updated all of my unloyal readers..... lolz..... just joking..... its just that I see so many people checking my page but no body leaves a message.... I wonder why.
Okay, my invisible friends, here is my update on my life. The last time that I posted something, I was in some kind of a crisis. I was confused on what will happen to me after my old campaign. Well, here's the verdict. I am now with the campaign that I started with, PC002 the old MSMB2B campaign is still standing but has been maked over.
I have been strugling ever since that I had been transferred. The parameters are kind of tricky and stiff and I having trouble coping with it. my team's validation has been kinda okay compared to other teams but the management still isn't satisfied with it.
The team that I was given has been fine and they have been working independently and I am so proud of that. I want to make my people to be responsible of their own actions be more matured, that is the team that I would like to have.
The schedule is very awful. At least for me. I need to be at the office by 9:45 hit lunch by 2:45 AM and I am off by 6:45 meaning I may go home but i actually cant go home. I have to make lots of reports or "reports" to cut the story short I go home about 8 AM.
What actually is awful about the schedule is that I have to actually be home asap after work to sleep, coz that would be the only chance that I have to rest because I still have to go to school by 1PM.
School actually okay and I am on my second semester that would be the last sem with subjects. they say that afer this semester we will be on a review type of class plus we'll be deployed in a hospital.
I actually am stressed right now because of the pressure that I am on but I hope that I would survive this to the end.