When frustration comes into your system, It eats you.
For the past how many days, An emotion had been eating my system. I dont know if that is what you call Frustration. I feel like I want to go home at the middle of the shift. I feel like I wanna run bare footed on the sands of a beach I have never been to. I want to find my self and where am I lacking of when it comes to doing my job correctly.
I dont want to blame other people for feeling this way. This is my body, my mind and my spirit. I am the one who commands my soul. But It seems like it wonders around and would not stay with me, questing for some higher ground.
Stop. I know that I cant search for some place as of this time. It does not exist, It should not exist! I need to be where I am today. This is part of the struggle, this is part of the sacrifices that I have to make.
I believe in happy endings, but I only becomes worst before you can feel that it actually had become better.
I need to gather my toughts that makes me happy. My family, my loved one, my friends and the trip that I had a year ago that keeps me motivated. Funny how it seems that, that same trip that keeps me motivated keeps me frustrated about the things that I see.
I will strive to be better, I will get out of this puddle of mud. You can only say that I am better now when I see my self out of this puddle. But I can only say that I am out of it only when I realize and accept that I am in it right now.